Friday, September 14, 2007

My Life as I see it

my life as I see it
I cannot fight what I’ve made of it
its only a life of my own screwed up design
negative power fighting the power of positive
I cannot deny that I’ve messed it up myself
I only have to blame myself of it
its unfocused, and as confused as my mind
I’ve been lead into a mass of meds and controlling enemies
positive seems so small, compared to my disasters
I’ve denied reaching for help of others
I feel I can only depend on myself, always have
which seems to be falling apart
my strength has weakened
I sometimes feel my lungs collapsing
the breath of air around me contaminated
the breath coming out of me stinks of meds
my body being destroyed by my illness
fighting a battle that's never ending until my death
I seek no pity, I’ve developed this war on my own
I bow down on my knees to pray
crying every time like such a fool
seems we always ask for guide-ness when the end is near
its then that we are in fear